By Andrew Lines
I settled down to watch the final episode of Breaking Bad knowing I wouldn’t be interrupted because a new security system had just been installed.
I thought I heard someone knocking on the window, and wondered whether it was the postman. Then I remembered I live on the top floor. Besides, it was ten thirty at night.
I tried to ignore the knocking and concentrate on the telly, but it continued and seemed to get more and more desperate. I stood up, intending to investigate when the wife decided to flash her nipples. She almost poked my eyes out! I couldn’t remember why I’d stood up, so I sat down again and invited her to sit on my lap. “Aren’t you going to investigate the knocking?” she asked.
“What do you mean? I’ve cured it by screwing the headboard to the wall.”
“I’m referring to the knocking on the window, you idiot!”
Her eyes followed me as I walked across the room. So did her nipples. I opened the window and saw a man in a suit lying on the ground. “Are you okay?” I enquired. He didn’t move a muscle, but called out, “Can I interest you in Personal Injury Insurance?”
©Andrew Lines 2016